i would absolutely fuck the wolfman given the chance would frankenstein's monster even have a functional dick i would find out!!
he didn't bite me but i bit him a little not enough to do any damage tho honestly it was like fucking a human except that he's ridiculously strong he's really handsome for the record a lot of sharp teeth too
okay but 1) its french 2) you can't whine if it's not like homegrown tomatoes or whatever 3) until i do you can just come over for dinner if you want like we don't have to wait for the film
[Oh, that's it? that's the text? "Yeah, well"? Apparently so. Apparently he doesn't have a whole lot to say about that, because he doesn't really understand a whole lot within himself, so it's even harder to justify it to someone else.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
you know
as you do
with dicks
no subject
are you gonna sleep with frankenstein next or just settle for the wolf-man
did he bite you
did you bite him
did he look like bela lugosi
THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS A FRIEND WOULD ANSWER
no subject
would frankenstein's monster even have a functional dick i would find out!!
he didn't bite me but i bit him a little not enough to do any damage tho
honestly it was like fucking a human except that he's ridiculously strong
he's really handsome for the record
a lot of sharp teeth too
he's also got a coffin which is so fucking cool
no subject
that's the point
he's a fully functoining man and also he has a bride, clearly it works, also haven't you seen young frankenstein, come on leone
woudl you really fuck him because i sure wouldn't that's way too close to necrophilia
[. . .]
is he actually dracula? like seriously no joke is he actually a vampire?
no subject
anyway yeah i would that's closer to monsterfucker category than necrophilia
yeah he's actually dracula
i call him vlad tho
no subject
i just gotta get a copy but now you HAVE to, it's really good and answers questions you clearly have
vlad tho huh
does he know there's a whole like
books/movies/lots of tacky halloween displays on him?
god i think i was dracula for halloween when i was ten
no subject
oh yeah he's pretty aware
we talked about the book for a bit
i dont think most people know he's alive and real where he's from
no subject
yo'ull like it
but that explains a lot i guess, the whole fictional thing
huh
so you gonna sleep with him again?
no subject
you get dinner this time tho
probably if he wants to
he offered me a blowjob
we'll see how that goes
no subject
tell me if you do yeah?
no subject
fine by me might be nice to not make my own dinner honestly
why? do you wanna know the dickula details?
1/2
i would want to know if you fucked one of the three musketeers too leone you're fucking dracula
no subject
or tomorrow night if you're busy
i haven't had a vegetable in a while this is a good excuse
no subject
anyway i'm honestly surprised you're invested in this dracula thing but that's fine by me
no subject
it's DRACULA
it's like me coming up to you and being like hey i just slept with milady de winter no big deal tho
no subject
didn't think you'd wanna know the details on that
no subject
[Oh, that's it? that's the text? "Yeah, well"? Apparently so. Apparently he doesn't have a whole lot to say about that, because he doesn't really understand a whole lot within himself, so it's even harder to justify it to someone else.]
shows what you know i guess
[A stunning followup.]
anyway, see you tonight
no subject
[wtf pol]