teaserving: (and this time)
big tiddy goth gf ([personal profile] teaserving) wrote2019-08-16 12:41 pm

⏪ IC CONTACT



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grilletto: (♜from all my fantasies♜)

[personal profile] grilletto 2020-04-26 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
yeah i know
i know it's not normal here
so i dunno why i thought i could get my shit together any better here than back home

it's probably shitty to complain about it right?
but it kind of feels like i'm being left behind
i mean i thought maybe i did find something and then
just gone so it's just kind of like
now what
what the fuck am i supposed to do
so i just don't do anything


[ hello word salad, somewhere in his mind it makes sense ]
grilletto: (♜take my tongue♜)

[personal profile] grilletto 2020-04-26 04:12 am (UTC)(link)
not really that i hate being single
just...
i want experience but i don't feel like i can
because now i'm not even sure i wanna bother
getting close to anyone again
kind of seems easier just to push everything away
and say fuck it
because who the hell knows when someone's just gonna
fucking up and disappear

i know it's not a choice
we're all in the same boat
stuck here and trying to make the best of it
just some people are better at it
grilletto: (♜so i would touch♜)

[personal profile] grilletto 2020-04-26 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
i know
why do you think i didn't want to talk about it?
you don't need this kind of shit piled on top of everything
so i just kind of shut down for a little bit
and keep trying to hold it all in
because i know i'm just being a fucking baby about it

i get chances and then i talk myself out of it
because it doesn't feel right or the moons are out or
whatever else i can come up with because i just don't want to admit that i'm too fucking scared
or stupid or whatever you wanna call it
grilletto: (♜stuck on the ground♜)

[personal profile] grilletto 2020-04-26 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
what is it self-sabotage or something?
i think that's what to call it
but if it were you
how would you stop them
the excuses i mean


[ hold on give him a second ]

wait what do you mean
if you gotta do something about it
what could you do about it??
grilletto: (♜put you to bed♜)

[personal profile] grilletto 2020-04-26 05:25 am (UTC)(link)
it helps to have someone to rely on
even just getting some of this bullshit out now kinda feels
better?
not like good but better

but don't make it sound like you're gonna hire someone
because that's kind of what it sounds like from over here
and i'm not sure i want to think about what the pistols have to say about it
that's just...
i mean they already tried to put me on the net themselves
little shits
grilletto: (♜i go and try♜)

christ i am sorry

[personal profile] grilletto 2020-04-26 05:37 am (UTC)(link)
i'm not really sure how to say it either
i know i'm not really a leader or anything
so i guess we're kind of the same in that way
needing guidance from someone stronger

i already know you're stronger than me
just in different ways

but thank god
i was scared for a second
i get out though! i have friends it's just
something shitty happens every time i go out
there's this girl that tries to get me to go shopping with her
and she sweet but she's so fucking small
i just want to protect her or something
you know like she's a sister
but she talked me into buying these pants??
and i don't know what i was thinking because yeah they were still brand name
but they're fucking vinyl?
i don't remember seeing you at the charity thing but yeah
i got stuck wearing those things and then someone bid on me and i don't even know how the fuck i got signed up in the first place?
and i hated the winner so
you see what i mean right?
something fucked up happens every time i leave

do you think it's a curse
grilletto: (♜you fuck with me♜)

[personal profile] grilletto 2020-04-26 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
nah i'm pretty sure you're stronger than you think you are

but yeah i mean
people bid on me i guess i think most of it was out of pity...
two of them i was pretty sure were just fucking with me
and then there's the gem lady and miwako
they didn't win though
can you fuckin believe that it was that asshole?
rohan? of all the goddamn people
i hate that guy and i swear to god if reimi didn't care about him
i would kick his ass

but i mean it was only that many people that bid on me
so i guess it makes sense that the winner was someone i hate
you know because of the number

but this girl are you talking about the fashion girl?
she tried to give me scarf once during sanguis
i thought she was making fun of me because it was a couple scarf
i made her cry on accident
but i also thought she was like
15 or something
that's how small she is
grilletto: (♜take them (aside)♜)

[personal profile] grilletto 2020-04-26 06:02 am (UTC)(link)
huh? miwako?
i mean yeah she's got a name it's miwako
but she's got a boyfriend
and she hangs out with a weird deer that has fingers

i mean there's someone else too but it kind of
feels weird to talk about that one
because of other stuff and what was going on before
grilletto: (♜and i kill ‘em all♜)

[personal profile] grilletto 2020-05-03 02:45 am (UTC)(link)
well it’s just weird because it’s like we all know each other?
jolyne likes to come over and hang out and cuddle or something
but she was really aggressive last time and it kind of freaked me out


[ he thinks very briefly on not addressing the reimi issue, but what was the point ]

i still really like reimi
i mean a lot but
i kind of get the feeling that maybe she’s taken?
or someone thinks she’s taken
we did kiss a couple times at the auction thing
but she kissed that dick rohan too so i dunno
grilletto: (♜on love and truth♜)

[personal profile] grilletto 2020-05-03 03:32 am (UTC)(link)
the weirdest family drama
she kind of wants to...
well you know
but it’s always during the moons
and i want to know it’s me??
and i don’t want her to think i’m using her as
a replacement or something so i keep telling her no

and talking to reimi...
it’s a little more complicated than that i think
we only kissed because rohan and i were fighting
and then she made us say nice things to each other
i mean i got another kiss out of it but so did he

i guess i’m just screwing up all over the place