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[teaserving]

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[teaserving]

thanks sorellina
i cant remember the last time i've felt this happy, honestly
but you two definitely both make it easier

more than anything, i just want to make sure i treat him the way he deserves

[doreimi]

Have you been building up your chroma again, after you lost it all? I don't want to have to worry about you!

Hey, Niichan.
I know it's different hearing something from someone else than it is trying to tell it to yourself, so I'm going to tell it to you for you.

You're not going to screw it up. It's going to be okay. You're doing it right.

[teaserving]

definitely not building it up as fast as i was
but we're making it work
don't worry i'm taking care of it

i
actually appreciate that
i still feel like i might
i did fuck up a little after that ghost shit
but i've been dry ever since

[doreimi]

Yeah...I've been having trouble getting regulated ever since I fell in that spring last month. I'm better now than I was, but it's a lot more erratic than it used to be.

Does Mr. Avdol know about that part of it? I mean, does he know to help you if you start wanting to drink?

[teaserving]

yeah
i understand that
are you ok?

no.
i shouldn't be such a fucking coward about it
i've already told him the worst part about me
i haven't gotten to everything else
you know
the drinking the mafia that kind of thing
i know he should know

[doreimi]

Mmhmm. I promise I'm not pushing it or anything. I think I just need to be a little bit better about moonlacing a little more often, to make sure I'm staying where I need to be. I think the cafe will probably help with that, though.

Hey, I know better than anyone how it feels to not want to tell someone you like...certain things about yourself, you know? Sometimes you just...don't want that to be a part of you that they know to look for. I get that.

But I know he would help you, if he knew. If you were having a bad time, he would take care of you.

[teaserving]

ok
that's good
i mean otherwise i'm sure mista would kiss you again right? [he knows!! there was another kiss!!]

i know he would is the thing
i just dont want him to feel like i'm gonna be dependent on him and he can't rely on me
but i should say something.

[doreimi]

I'm pretty sure Mista would let me kiss him whenever I want, for however long as I want. On whatever excuse I want.

...Well. He's dependent on you sometimes, right?

[teaserving]

got him wrapped around your finger huh

i dont know
maybe
i never really thought about it

[doreimi]

Maybe a little. I'm not taking advantage of him, though! I think it's more just that he's just that kind of guy. Gallant, you know? He wouldn't say no to a girl who needed help. Especially not when the help is kissing.

Maybe you should. Think about it, I mean, from that perspective. If he already relies on you, then it just makes sense for it to go both ways.

[teaserving]

im really not worried about you taking advantage of him
but you're probably right
where it counts he doesn't turn his back on someone in need

i know
and i trust him when he says that kind of thing
but there's that part of me that feels otherwise
the same part that's fucking scared that i'm gonna fuck it up

[doreimi]

I know. Because it's not really about logic or reason or anything like that. It's just that feeling, and you can't talk yourself out of a feeling no matter how hard you try.

[teaserving]

yeah
i figured you'd get it

[doreimi]

But do you feel happy when you're with him? It's not always just that feeling of being afraid, is it?

[teaserving]

i mean
of course i feel happy around him
i feel the most calm around you and him honestly

[doreimi]

Then even if sometimes it's hard, and you're scared, it's worth it because of the times that you're happy, don't you think?

What I mean is, I'm glad that he makes you happy. It makes me happy to think about it.

[teaserving]

it's worth it to me
i want to keep feeling like this
even if it's scary as hell

thanks sorellina
i want you be happy too
all right?

[doreimi]

You want to know something funny? Think about how we felt when we first met. It was just a few months ago, and neither of us knew what to do with ourselves.

Now you've got a boooooooooyfriend and I'm building something to last even after I'm gone. That's pretty incredible, isn't it?

I was an orphan when I got here, too, and now I'm not anymore. That's pretty great, too.

[teaserving]

i thought all i'd be doing was follow bucciarati's orders honestly
and i was okay with that
but then he was gone so
anyway

yeah
this is definitely far from what i expected of myself

[doreimi]

You still miss him, huh? I mean, of course you do, why wouldn't you. But you're okay, right? Even missing him?

[teaserving]

oh. yeah, i think so.
i miss him, and mostly i just wish i could have had the chance to do something about his future
but i try to think that he'd want me to do better too. him and florentino both.

[doreimi]

You know, I kind of hate it when people like me say things like "if so and so were here, I'm sure they would think" in situations like this — especially if it's someone they've never met, and have no business putting words in their mouth.

But I feel like Florentino would be proud of you for trying a relationship again. Even if it is kind of scary. He sounds like he was that kind of guy.

[teaserving]

i get you. but you're not wrong about him either.
he'd probably say something like "i'd want you to move on". which you know i'm absolutely shit at but. i'm trying.

he'd have liked you though.

[doreimi]

Guess you'll have to bring him with you when you come find me, huh.

But that's good! Then I can tell him all SORTS of embarrassing stories about you and you'll have to stand there and take it, ha ha!

[teaserving]

guess i do

god you two are gonna be the worst
sharing and talking shit about me
THE
WORST